Why Can't I Do/Be What I Really Want to Do/Be (Part 2)

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Last week I shared four common reasons why we may not be able to Do/Be what we long to Do/Be. Today I will share another six reasons! Admitting (read confessing) the whole truth about these realities in our lives is the first step in a major Reconstruction. I know all ten have applied to me either currently or not long ago, and I believe some apply to you, too, or why would I write this? If we only admit partial truths about ourselves, we’ll never have the inner conviction, power, or energy we need to change anything. In the increasing darkness of these “last days,” we require more than reconstruction; we need a revolution! The time we spend in this confessing/admitting phase pays big later!

These are the four realities I shared last week:

1. NOTHING I FEEL I’M CREATED TO DO IS EASY.

2. THERE ARE TRUTHS IN MY HEAD THAT SEEM IMPOSSIBLE TO TURN INTO ACTIONS.

3. I TEND TO OVER-ANALYZE AND IT KEEPS ME FROZEN WITH INDECISION.

4. I CAN GET PARALYZED BY FEAR.

Let’s continue:

5. I REGULARLY COMPARE MYSELF WITH OTHERS.

I see other men who appear far ahead of me in similar life pursuits. I try to understand why they surpass me. It’s rarely is higher-paying careers. After all, I chose to be a pastor. Yet it seems two categories of people draw my attention and comparison.

FIRST, those who appear sharper or more commanding, those who are better at what I think I do well, those who turn small to mega, who draw attention and agreement whenever they open their mouths, and who are the “life” of any gathering.

I can be jealous of these people though I despise myself for it, wanting to say I’ve overcome this problem when I haven’t. I know comparison and jealousy are at work when I stare at someone across a room while trying not to be noticed, or when I make sure not to be part of the crowd around them or initiate a relationship with them.

I believe I can “look the part.” My haircut, clothes, and outward demeanor can be similar, yet  inside I am clearly something else. I know it’s the evil one who draws me into jealousy;  he’s pleased when he can tempt me to wish I were not what I am. Still, it’s painful, and shameful, to realize I want to be what the world, and even most Christians, call successful.

SECOND, from the opposite spectrum, I’m drawn to compare myself with those who have discernably deep godly character on a much higher plane. These are people who excel in that which produces spiritual legacies and which counts for eternity. They pray a lot. They don’t casually read a short Bible devotion and highlight some verses each day; they feast on the Word of God. They disciple their families and lead them into deep faith conviction. They guard the subjects of their conversations and are salt and light to all with whom they speak. Total unprejudicial love pours out from their motivations and priorities.

I spent years of my life wanting to be like this second group of people. Yet on meeting them, I might still judge them as does the world: too holy, old-fashioned, un-cool, legalistic, even dull. Meanwhile, I should have been sitting at their feet. My current Life Reconstruction has a lot to do with becoming as much like them as it’s not too late for me yet to become.

6. I’VE BELIEVED MORE MONEY COULD REALLY BRING MORE PEACE

When we moved to Haiti in 2014 (Margie…wife, Rebekah…youngest daughter, me), we had three monthly Social Security disbursements: mine, spouse, dependent. We had a stash of cash for startup expenses plus two SUV’s and a motorcycle. Monthly contributions from friends, family, and churches plus a wedding ring business kept us going.

By the end of 2018 I had declared bankruptcy, ended a 46-year marriage, and returned to the U.S. to have surgery and escape a life-threatening situation in Haiti. In 2019 I got a job at Target for minimum wage.

In 2020 I moved here to Baja, Mexico, alone. I had lost most of my monthly contributors due to their disappointment (and judgments) about my divorce. I had no income apart from social security and a few faithful contributors. I took a position as Worship Pastor in an English-speaking church, starting at $200/month. I complained to God because the hours required for that position, which grew into Associate Pastor, were too many for the small amount I was being paid. I did that for 2-1/2 years and then resigned for a number of reasons.

I wanted money to flow into my life to make everything easy, stress-free, and secure. It took so long, too long, to finally be at peace with the lowest income I’ve ever had. Thirty years ago I was pastor of a church in Arlington Heights, IL, and my income was 2.5 times what it is now. But my life, especially my interior life, was 2.5 times more unhinged, unmanageable, and secretly deceptive, than what it is now!

Part of my current Reconstruction is to be at peace with this life I used to call cursed but now call blessed.

7. I’VE ALWAYS SEEN MYSELF AS A FAILURE.

My standards for success were always impossibly high. I never judged myself by what would be normal achievements, but rather what I saw in the most famous, most published, and most celebrated people, pastors, Christians. I could never measure up to that.

Was my pride so big that I actually believed I should be one of the tiny percentage who rise to the very top? Picture this: A mega church with 10,000 people in the congregation and one pastor preaching at the front. A mega company with one CEO and 10,000 employees. It was never OK for me to be like one of the people in the congregation or one of the company workers. In my mind, none of them were successes; only the guy at the top. How could I possibly win when those ungodly, unbiblical thoughts held me in their grasp?

Let me tell a story from long ago. It has a great impact on me now, but I wish it had spoken more deeply to me at the time.

The third of my four-year M.Div. degree was an internship. I was sent to a church in a small Iowa town. I complained to God that I had suburban genes so why was I being sent to farmland? Of course he knew best.

I was 24 years old, and my ideas of success were already warped. I had some memorable ministry in Griswold, Iowa, but felt like a failure. God wanted me to love the people I was serving, but I wanted mostly to impress them and draw people from far and wide to create something big.

That never happened. I did have a Bible Study in our home that made lasting relationships and grew people’s faith. But I saw no reason to waste my time going to the local café every day as so many small town people did, just to jabber with one another. Today, fifty years later, if I could do it again, I would spend hours there each week.

There are people who still remember that Bible Study group and the faith that grew from weak to strong during the year I was in Griswold. But in my mind, I counted the year a failure because my definition of success hadn’t been achieved. I can only pray I’ll discover a different evaluation when I stand before the courts of heaven.

8. I’VE BEEN LAZY AND WANT TO DO WHAT’S EASY.

I had a wife who loved to cook, do laundry, even ironing. I had kids who helped do yardwork and remove snow when we lived in Chicago. I had Micha in Haiti to clean the house, run errands, and chauffeur me around on the back of the motorcycle.

When I moved to Baja, it was the first time I had ever lived alone. I complained to God a lot at the start. There are thousands of California retired expats here, and many of them are extremely wealthy. Even some of the Mexicans here have cleaning ladies, cooks and water bottle delivery. They eat out more and wash dishes less. I work hard in my daily life just to do the essentials –– shop, cook, clean, wash clothes, care for the dog.

I’ve discovered, as in many of the confessions of truth I’m sharing with you, that doing the hard work some others don’t have to do, has turned out to have many good results. The habits and routines I’ve developed serve me well and prove to me how things that appear burdens at first can turn out blessings in the end.

9. I’VE BEEN LONELY BUT NEVER LIKE THIS.

Loneliness can lead to misery, which it occasionally does in my current life. I’ve never been alone in a house before. From parents to college to marriage to children. Never alone, till I moved here to Mexico.

My personality has always cherished time alone, but not fulltime! Yet I have to say it has made me realize some important realities about loneliness, realities I believe would resonate with others.

You can be lonely when surrounded by people, even by those who love you. You can be lonely in the intimacy of a good marriage. You can be lonely at a party, with friends, even in a community of faith.

Alone and lonely are two different experiences. I like alone, but I’m doing some life reconstruction to reject lonely. How that happens and how it positively changes my life and faith is a story yet ahead to tell.

10. IT’S TIME TO FINALLY DEAL WITH THE SECRET PLACES OF MY INNER LIFE.

I’ve preached and taught throughout my life that what’s happening in the secret places of one’s heart has much greter impact on life success than any outward appearance or performance. For most of that time, though, I denied that truth in too many critical areas of my soul and spirit.

I followed the excuses I believe the majority of Christians use when confronted with the reality of their sins, especially the ones hidden within.

“I’m doing as well as anyone I know.”

“Yes, I understand how the Bible measures secret sins. Jesus said hating is equal to murder; lust is equal to adultery. But, really? I mean, no one can simply turn off their mind and think only holy thoughts 24/7, right?”

“By my standards and evaluation I’m doing well enough to teach others how to live while believing I’m a good example to them of a godly man.”

But these reasons were simply excuses that denied the truth, allowing me to hold onto lies.

Let me be clear. Yes, I probably have done as well or better than the majority. Yes, my hidden sins are universal ones with which everyone struggles. But why didn’t I run hard after the big prize long ago as I’m doing now in my old age? Answer: Because I really believed that all I was, all I wasn’t, all that was good and true, all that was fake or deceptive, was the very best I was able to be!

When did the Church of Jesus Christ forget the blood poured out for our filthy, abominable, perverse, demon-inspired sins and start calling them by other names? When did we start thinking God and his angels do not see everything we do in secret? So instead of confessing it as sin, we say, “I have a problem…weakness…issue…occasional lapse…failure…oh no it’s not really sin.” Why can’t we call a spade a spade, at least when it’s about sin?

Two kings in the Bible sinned against God. King David repented and in desperation cried out to the Lord. Although he sinned, he knew without the presence of God, he was nothing. He prioritized confession and worship. King Saul, however, sinned without repentance. His heart was hard, and his life was marked by deception. In a final desperate act, he sought out a medium to raise the prophet Samuel from the dead, and it cost him his life.

Desperation can drive us into the Presence of God. Or we can let the pressure of our sin cause us to take matters into our own hands as we try to make excuses or cover it all up. Which never ends well, and often makes things worse.

I plan to give at least one, perhaps two later posts entirely to the truth, cost, and cleansing of hidden sins. I know it will touch you in a deep, private, and vital place that desperately needs reconstruction in your own life, too.

That’s all for this week. Blessings abound to you, with peace, and honesty, and even joy!

Why Can't I Do/Be What I Really Want to Do/Be? (Part 1)

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DO BE DO BE DO. We think the problem is in the DO. We can’t get everything done. We don’t have enough time to start or finish. We put things off but say it's not our fault. We rate our success by the volume and scope of our accomplishments.

There’s a catch, though. We never DO enough well enough to give us that deep sense of contentment we’re seeking. That’s because all along, to DO wasn’t supposed to be the end game. The real goal was, and still is, to BE.

I make my bed every day. I developed the habit early in life; my mother never said why but insisted it must be done. No one goes in my bedroom except me and my dog Oscar, so I don’t do it to impress others. As one item on my auto-pilot checklist, it doesn’t add up to any great life achievement.

I realized some time ago that making my bed is one TO DO that actually helps shape what I want TO BE. The secular saying is, “Who you really are is who you are when no one’s looking.” The Bible puts is this way, “The Lord doesn’t see things the way you see them. People judge by outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart” (1 Sam 16:7 NLT).

Back to my bed. If I expend the effort daily to do something no one sees, I’m forming a part of my character that might encourage me to do harder tasks, ones that could benefit others without a need to be seen and recognized. That’s one piece of who I want to BE.

There’s another part of this “make the bed” story. I sleep with only one pillow, but I have two others with decorative covers that make the bed look nice. I set those two aside at night and put them back in the morning. I thought, “That’s crazy. I make my bed; that’s good enough. Don’t need extra pillows for décor that no one sees.” So I put those two pillows in the storeroom. Then it occurred to me, “GOOD ENOUGH? Is that the man you want to be? GOOD ENOUGH?” Now the extra pillows are back on the bed!

There’s not much benefit in using this blog to help you “get things done.” If you’re enabled to DO more because of something I write, I pray you’ll soon realize it was only a secondary goal. The primary one will be how your greater success in DOing has been a stairway to BEing. Stay with me as we accomplish this step by step. Maybe you’ll start saying, as I say, that you’re “under reconstruction.”

We're on a path to CREATING HABITS. Right now, that might sound dull or deserving of an eye roll. By the time we get there, though, you will see how habits can be a key to set many crooked things straight.

I want to begin that process today with the question that’s the title of this post:

“WHY CAN’T I DO/BE WHAT I REALLY WANT TO DO/BE?”

I’m writing about me, but not simply to tell my story. I’m not sure it would be worth your time or mine if that were the only goal. I know much of what I write will apply to you. So as you read, don’t click your tongue and shake your head at the manner in which I vulnerably bare myself. Rather, think “Oh, that’s me,” and then you’ll begin ascending the stairway TO BE.

Something had to happen to me, or in me, so that I could first admit current realities, then reconstruct my life to change them. This week and next I’m going to unveil those realities. That’s the starting place that will lead to solutions and hope. Here are the truths I had to embrace about myself:

1) NOTHING I FEEL I’M CREATED TO DO IS EASY.

It wasn’t always that way. In primary school I was at the top of every class. While other kids struggled to learn the difference between lie and lay or sit and set, I didn’t give it a moment’s thought. Everything was simple and obvious to me. Straight A’s in every subject. High School was a bit more difficult, but I still graduated #10 in a class of 650.

College hit me like a ton of bricks. Nothing was easy. Suddenly I had to study and I had never learned how to do that. I was an English major, and the first paper I wrote was left ungraded and filled with red lines drawn through every unnecessary word. I had to start over, and that humiliated me; it had never happened before.

The older I got, the harder everything became. Piano (then keyboard), singing, writing, preaching, teaching, worship, absorbing Bible truths, mastering a computer. Being a husband, father, caring for a house and yard. Nothing, nothing, nothing has been simple ever again!

Meanwhile, appearances are all to the contrary. When I’m before an audience or congregation, people say, “You make that look so natural and easy.” They don’t have a clue what a wreck I am beforehand, and the stage fright that makes me shake inside.

Writing this blog is painfully difficult! I understand it’s normal even for famously talented writers to be up through the night, drinking gallons of coffee while agonizing at the keyboard. Editing over and over, putting red lines through every unnecessary word, rephrasing, clarifying, deleting entire paragraphs. The whole time I’m saying, “Is this worth it? Does this make a difference to anyone?” Why is it so hard to create a 2,500 word post once a week?

I’ve been living in Mexico almost four years, but my Spanish is still terrible. So I started a daily online program. But it's a real struggle. People marvelled years ago when I learned Haitian Creole. They said I spoke it like a “rat lakay” (house rat, meaning like a native). That seemed easy, so what’s the problem with Spanish? Maybe until now I haven’t thought of it as an absolute necessity like I did with Creole.

Do you feel much of what you long TO BE is at a standstill because what you need TO DO seems beyond your ability, or energy, or time…or might it be something else? Think about it.

2. THERE ARE TRUTHS IN MY HEAD THAT SEEM IMPOSSIBLE TO TURN INTO ACTIONS.

I have to admit that I often feel lost on the path from conviction to action. At times it’s because a sense, perhaps a spirit, of confusion keeps me blind to possible plans of accomplishment. Yet, if I’m really honest, I think the problem has more to do with my not really believing I can face the challenge.

Maybe I could find a concert venue where I could present an evening of “Songs of Faith.” Maybe I could minister in a less haphazard way to people I meet at the Happy Hour bar. Maybe I could invite people to my house for regular times of sharing, study, and prayer. Maybe…maybe…maybe.

Somewhere in all those maybes is the voice of God’s Spirit within me, revealing a piece of the destiny He created me to follow. Meanwhile, the louder voice of the evil one ridicules me and plants in my mind that my ideas are ridiculous, impossible, beyond my abilities or expertise, or for a more capable person to accomplish. Do you ever have this problem when considering launching out to DO something that would allow you to BE what you know would express your unique reason for living?

3. I TEND TO OVER-ANALYZE AND IT KEEPS ME FROZEN WITH INDECISION.

My wife and I used to teach people how to discern and unveil their God-given aptitudes and personalities. We blessed many with keys to understand their mates, children and associates, to encourage and celebrate their differences, to rejoice in what used to annoy them. We helped people discover how to help each other be the unique person God made them to be, not what anyone else wanted them to be.

Yet, in years of showing people how to be content with who they are and who they’re not, I couldn’t ever accept those revelations about myself! OK, Lord, you made me primarily melancholy, so I’m deep, emotional, analytical, made to touch others far below the surface, but NOT to be an entrepreneur who can grow mega-numbers of people or money.

Our culture celebrates those who can create Fortune 500 companies (or mega-churches) from nothing, have rags to riches stories, and make their own dreams come true. For my entire life, I’ve bemoaned the fact I’m not like that.

I’m plagued with this thought: If a true Christian has worldly success, it means he’s comfortable here on earth and then gets heaven too. The rest of us struggle here to barely make it. We pray that before we die we might produce even a tiny handful of spiritual fruit to advance His Kingdom. We doubt we’ll ever hear the words, “Well done, good and faithful servant.” Something is terribly wrong with me, because I don’t want Jesus to return yet until I’ve “fulfilled my destiny” to my own satisfaction and completed what he put me here to do. The evil one convinces me that God Himself rates me by what l DO not by what I have BEcome.

I know it’s not the truth. I know those who touch people deeply one by one are doing what they were created to do, and their eternal reward will be equal to those who preached to 10,000 every Sunday, or who created a giant companies and impacted the lives of thousands of employees.

Still, the truth doesn’t speak loud enough to drown out the voices of demons. So I keep analyzing myself, my direction, my destiny, my plans, hoping that before I die I’ll finally feel I’m ready. That’s a sick perspective for a man of God. But I want you to consider the realities of your life, too, so that you’ll be ready to enter a true reconstruction with me according to the guidance of the only One who is the Way, the Truth, and the Life.

4. I CAN GET PARALYZED BY FEAR.

This is not something I dealt with most of my life. Maybe that’s your story, too. Something happened at a specific time in your life, and the evil one used it to create ongoing fear and anxiety. At least that’s what happened to me.

People always told me I must be fearless. To some extent it was true. I mean, I would be afraid in certain situations, but I was able to keep going in spite of it. I rented cars on vacation and drove them places others considered scary, but it was an adventure to me. Some of those adventures turned sour, when a road I thought would be normal became quite the opposite. I travelled to Haiti multiple times a year. Some frightening situations took place, usually involving broken-down vehicles at night. Once on a bus we were stopped by an angry, gun-toting crowd, but somehow I was OK through it all.

Then we moved to Haiti in 2014. A few situations occurred where I felt trapped, or seriously sick with no good medical care, or menaced by corrupt police for money. One night something in me snapped. I awakened and said to my wife, “Quick, get up; I have to go to a hospital; I think I’m having a heart attack and I can’t breathe.” She called an American doctor I had been seeing, and he calmed me down saying, “If you were having a heart attack, you wouldn’t be able to speak. This is a panic attack.”

What? A panic attack? “No,” I said, “Can’t be. I don’t have panic attacks.” He talked me through it, lying down with the phone to my ear, breathing a certain way while feeling the air go in and out my abdomen, and I finally felt fine. But this wasn’t the end; it was just the start. I had regular panic attacks for about five years after that, often in the middle of the night.

There’s too long a story to tell about how I overcame panic attacks. Now I can feel one coming on, and I’m able to dissipate it quickly before it can progress. But I know it’s all about fear. I was healthy all my life, but more recently normal aging has given me a few medical scares. As soon as I think something feels wrong in my body, the panic starts. Unexpected bills, a warning light on the car dash, a detour getting me lost, even a water leak or loss of electricity in a storm can set off panic like a alarm inside me.

Fear is an enemy. A man of God can live without fear if he has a true, daily intimacy with Jesus and the power of His Spirit in the depths of his being. Still, fear has been able to stop me from DOING so much that would have led to BEING what I long to BE. Does this speak to any reality in your life?

I’ve shared four reasons that I was not able to DO/BE what I really wanted to DO/BE in my life. In my next post, I will share SEVEN more reasons! Many people say, “Oh I deal with fear, laziness, low esteem, and other issues.” And they continue to admit these semi-truths their whole lives without ever conquering them. I call them semi-truths because most of us admit our issues only in part, not confessing the whole. We say, “I have this problem, but so do a lot of people…but I haven’t gone THIS far yet…but no one’s perfect…but you don’t know about my childhood…” Nothing will change or go forward until we admit the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth!

I finally got to the point (though I struggled to believe it’s not too late) that whatever it takes, I’m going to DO what I must so I can BE what I know is possible. I know that will require the supernatural intervention of heaven, so I must be sure I’ve got that. As I began this reconstruction, I was greatly encouraged by a study showing that people feel their greatest life successes occurred between 65 and 80 years of age! So nothing is stopping me now.

Hang on with me through this process. Once we fully face what has stood in the way of our DOING and BEING, then I’ll share the journey of BECOMING that I call Reconstruction of Life.

Be blessed today with confessing truth that will lead to freedom and peace.

Truth or Balance?

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“Don’t be naïve. There are difficult times ahead. As the end approaches, people are going to be self-absorbed, money-hungry, self-promoting, stuck-up, profane, contemptuous of parents, crude, coarse, dog-eat-dog, unbending, slanderers, impulsively wild, savage, cynical, treacherous, ruthless, bloated windbags, addicted to lust, and allergic to God”

 (2 Timothy 3:1-5 MSG).

“The world is a dangerous place to live, not because of the people who are evil, but because of the people who don’t do anything about it” (Albert Einstein).

A most popular word today, especially according to the media, is “balance.” Supposedly, the media reports a balanced view of current events, giving equal weight to both sides of the story. Now we all know this is not true. But if it were, it would not be either right or fair. To present a balanced view as though both sides are equally valid often perpetuates lies and creates confusion. After all, how do you balance evil with good, or light with darkness, or truth with lies? Though I choose truth over lies, light over darkness, and good over evil, I no longer am assured I’m in the majority.

Before I share a quote regarding the Israel-Hamas war, let me make something clear. I am part Jew, but that doesn’t mean I believe all Jews have a God-given exemption from evil. I wouldn’t say that about any race or nationality. I’m most concerned with what God says about the Jews and Israel, and it’s clear that his love, history, and plans for them have nothing to do with their innate goodness. After all, the Jews have experienced God's severe discipline regularly for centuries!

With that in mind, I report a Fox News interview of Tal Hartuv, victim of the October 7 event, who says, “We are talking about a war where there are two sides, and the sides are this: savagery against civilization, evil against good, dark against light, cruelty against kindness, death against life. I am absolutely convinced that those who give a platform to consider both sides in the name of balance are more than irresponsible."

I'm not expecting you to agree with her, but only to realize that both sides in this conflict would say there is no possibility for a "balanced" perspective. If either side did use that word, though, it would be said in this sense, "You need balance, because you don't understand MY perspective."

Here's what the prophet Isaiah wrote just before the Babylonian conquest of Judah and Jerusalem in 584 BC: “Woe to those who call evil good, and good evil; who put darkness for light, and light for darkness; who put bitter for sweet, and sweet for bitter!” (Is 5:20).

At that time, truth was in confusion because God’s people had turned their backs on him in order to worship foreign gods. Under the power of the Father of Lies himself, they descended into all manners of evil. Sadly, so it is again today, and not only in Israel and Gaza.

When he stood trial before Pilate, Jesus said, “I came into the world to testify to the truth. All who love the truth recognize that what I say is true.” Pilate then asked, “What is truth?” (John 18:37-38). I think he was rolling his eyes as he asked the question. You see, truth was confused in Jesus’ day, too. The religious Jews, especially the Pharisees, were his most powerful enemies. The religious Jews of today are still enemies of Jesus and Christians (I’ll clarify that in a later post). Jesus called them “blind guides,” “hypocrites” “whitened tombs,” and a “brood of vipers” (Matthew 23). It should be clear that Jesus didn’t promote balance; he spoke truth, even against his own people. His words wouldn’t go too far with the “woke” or “politically correct” crowds today.

I can’t think of another time in history when truth was so confused with lies, when evil was called good, and darkness was called light. Of course, certain past leaders and events come to mind (Hitler, Stalin et al) but the whole world was set against them. Today the deception seems universal.

I don’t have to go back to my childhood, but perhaps to my middle-age, when this wasn’t so. Of course, sin and evil have always been with us. Sexual addictions, perversions, abuse, atheism, witchcraft…these things are not new, but the vast majority of people, and the “officially agreed” narrative of even the media, was fairly unanimous in acknowledging these were immoral, bad, no-no’s, abnormal, indecent. No longer today, when full-blown Satanism is not only accepted, but celebrated as the correcting balance to what are considered outdated and meaningless myths and superstitions.

Before we can go any further in considering Truth vs Balance, I want to step aside to discuss “discernment,” without which we will all be lost in the lies and deceptions which currently capture the majority of humans.

“But solid food is for the mature, for those who have their powers of discernment trained by constant practice to distinguish good from evil” (Heb 5:14).

Discernment is the ability to discriminate or distinguish between good and evil, right and wrong, Spirit and flesh, God’s way and humans' way. The scripture quoted above says those who have discernment are mature, and that they’ve practiced their discernment over time.

Some say it’s discernment if they point to another person and judge them. Many church people have used their supposed discernment to “call out” other Christians in the worst way. That’s not discernment; that’s sin (see Matt 7:1-4). More often it’s called projection, which happens when a person puts what’s in their own hearts onto others.

True discernment, on the other hand, is about detecting and recognizing truth. In matters of discernment, we want to access what God says regarding the subject at hand. After all, Jesus said, “I am the…TRUTH” (John 14:6).

Did you know there’s a simple way to detect where the truth lies when two people are arguing opposing viewpoints? It’s a simple method of determining who’s right and who’s wrong. It has to do with detecting arrogance.

Imagine two people in a serious disagreement. John and Joe are breathing heavy toward each other. John is haughty, arrogant, self-important, autocratic, and unimpeachable (in his own mind). Joe, on the other hand, is confident but level-headed, humble, gracious, even soft-spoken and calm, though firm. He doesn’t return evil for evil. If he’s attacked, he isn’t defensive, and he ignores absurd comments instead of engaging them.

Nearly always, the arrogant, haughty soul is in the wrong. And in the process of the disagreement, he is revealing yet more negative truths about himself and the spirit that drives him. Yet naïve people like John who lack discernment equate their arrogance with truth and certainty.

I was at Happy Hour, the restaurant-bar where I’m a regular and where I currently lead a Bible Study on Sunday afternoons. I was sitting at the bar eating my lunch and talking quietly to a friend, when a woman across from me shouted hello. She said she had met me at the church where I was Associate Pastor.

After a few minutes, this same woman shouted at me from across the bar. I mean, she was red-faced screaming, and in one long sentence she yelled, “ARE YOU A CONSERVATIVE PASTOR JIM I MEAN ONE OF THOSE IDIOT MORON TRUMPERS ARE YOU ANTI-ABORTION WELL LET ME TELL YOU I’VE HAD TWO ABORTIONS AND BOTH WERE THE BEST DECISIONS I EVER MADE IN MY LIFE I’M SICK OF ALL THESE CONSERVATIVE CONSPIRACY SPREADERS WITH NO BRAINS THINKING TO KEEP ME FROM DOING WHAT I WANT WITH MY BODY!” My friend and I hadn’t been discussing any of these things, though I might fit some of her chosen categories. I had no idea what set her off, but the look on her red-hot face made it clear she was the one with the problem.

I let her simmer down; and the bar returned to its normal chatter. After I finished eating, I walked around to where she was seated with her quiet husband. I gently laid my hand on her shoulder and said, “Whatever you overheard me say that made you so upset, you know you’re hurting yourself with that anger. No matter what, I want to bless you with the love of Jesus. He can give you peace and calm inside. I’m sorry for whoever originally created that hurt inside you.” I didn’t know how she’d respond, but I was shocked when tears fell down her face, her arms went around me, and she said, “I was so wrong to do that. I hope you can forgive me.”

The angry, hating, shouting, self-righteous (sorry to say), give themselves away and rarely turn out to be the good guys, no matter what they think of themselves. But the mature and discerning can minister truth under the cover of a godly spirit and calm demeanor.

Now let’s apply this back to Truth vs Balance. How can we unravel all the lies and find truth? Well, there is only one 100% reliable source of truth and that is the Bible, confirmed by the inner revelation and assurance given to us by God’s Spirit as we pray and listen. It’s there we find the real balance of justice and mercy, sin and forgiveness, impurity and holiness.

Discernment means we almost never have a real balance in the issues which people so hotly debate today. We can have balance if what we’re arguing is thin vs thick pizza, Toyota vs Honda, Caribbean vs Pacific beaches, or country vs rock ‘n’ roll. In the major issues, though, the issues creating the hatred, confusion, and polarization prevailing over Planet Earth today, there is no possibility for balance. Why? Because the word itself is an illusion used to promote destruction of the truth!

We have a two-fold problem:

FIRST, apart from those who know and trust God and the Bible, most people don’t believe there is undebatable, irrefutable truth, but only opinions based on human logic or sense. Balance, then, simply means maybe I’m right maybe you’re right, since truth is defined as whatever each person believes.

SECOND, even most Christians follow their own opinions, because they don’t know the clear answers that are right there in the Bible. They say they believe it yet don’t know all it contains! So they end up following the same narrative as the unbelieving world and by doing so deny the truth!

Here’s an example: I asked Google to list articles about “Christian Views on Aliens.” Now that’s a serious topic with far-reaching ramifications for our world today (I may write an entire post on it). Here are some of Google’s responses:

“What Would Life Beyond Earth Mean for Christians?”

“If We Made Contact with Aliens, How Would Religions React?”

“What Happens to God When We Find Aliens?”

“Christian Theologians Prepare for Extraterrestrial Life”

“Of Jesus and Aliens”

“We Believe in Miracles…So Why Not Aliens?”

“Would Christianity Survive Discovery of Aliens?”

You might assume I believe there’s no such thing as aliens, which would be true if I were not a serious student of the Bible, which clearly tells us (brace yourself):

•Aliens, ET’s and space travel have been happening throughout human history and are recorded in the Bible.

•Humans and Angels came together not too long after creation to create half-supernatural giants who taught knowledge God didn’t want us to know.

•There are three heavens and one is what we call outer space.

•God made five classes of living beings, but there is a sixth.

…and that’s just the tip of the “truth iceberg” on that one current subject!

I think most of us who call ourselves Bible students, even lifelong Bible students, somehow kept skipping over countless parts of the Bible we couldn’t make sense of. Now, as these very things enter the mainstream of normal conversation, media, science, and government, those “crazy” parts of the Bible start to make sense, and we’re waking up to truths we never before understood! That’s a major part of what’s happening to me right now in this late in life (but never too late) “reconstruction” I’m pursuing. But as we unravel more of these former mysteries, we see that they cannot possibly be “balanced” with the narratives swirling around us.

The hour has come for each of us to consider a grand reconstruction of our lives…body, soul, and spirit, but not according to what seems sensible to us. We can no longer agree that everyone’s view is valid, but rather that the purpose of the current narratives is a ruse created to erase truth with “what's best for all" when it's simply false and best for the few.

If you’re reading this blog titled “Furious Faith,” I have to assume you want to know what that faith really is in relation to the issues of your life and world. In speaking to the Jewish leaders, Jesus referred to “your father the devil.” There is no balance between that father and “Our Father who art in heaven.” Ultimately there is one truth which cannot be compromised by any balance. It’s a painful reality, one most Christians shy away from affirming publicl;y, yet so vital to keep at the front lobe of our brains:

Earth is the closest to hell Christians will ever know.

Earth is the closest to heaven everyone else will ever know.

As you yield yourself to reconstruction, make every effort to spend yourself for the eternal good of those living in this current darkness, and to speak the truth in sacrificial love, always choosing truth over balance, unashamed to be found oh so different, yet wonderfully and attractively so!

Be blessed, and be a blessing, today and always.